I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
