you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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