why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
