I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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