Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
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vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
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The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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