Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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