He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
