I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
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