walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
