I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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