I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
