Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Randomize
