Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
