dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize