i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize