it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize