OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
