I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize