I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Are we still banned from the library?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
