It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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