I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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