It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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