Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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