I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
