it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
