I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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