I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
