yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
