so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
