how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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