don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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