At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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