whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
