You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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