Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
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