I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
