you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
