ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
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And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
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in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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