I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
