just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
