Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
