It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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