I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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