Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
barbara walters just said penis...
Hippo gnu deer
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You ruined the universe
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
