this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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