I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
