How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bit a glass in half.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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