Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
