She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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