Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Randomize
