I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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