Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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