apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
