This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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