Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
