I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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