I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
