your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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