you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
