I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Randomize
