People in love make me want to vomit
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
